“PlushieCouture” on Etsy …
“PlushieCouture” on Etsy has nearly 1,300 Furby variations: tardigrade Furby (they call it a sea pig, but it most definitely looks like a tardigrade); octopus Furby; Beetlejuice sandworm Furby; Buzz Lightyear Furby: a piece of toast with Barbie legs Furby; stick of butter Furby; TMNT Furby; Cat in a Hat Furby; Remington bullet Furby; Spine furby; Tooth with plaque Furby; and California Raisin Furby, among so many others. You’d be surprised how quickly they’re sold and how quickly new variations drop.
One of these custom Furbies will set you back about $100. I’ve been browsing Etsy intermittently over the last few months trying to find the long or odd Furby—there are some vendors that create strictly “long” furbies, and then there are others like PlushieCouture that make “odd body” furbies—of Claire’s dreams. My desire to buy a long or odd knockoff Furby to the tune of $100 or more is the grand fiction of consumerism, that having something tangible will bring me closer to whatever the commodity is meant to represent, in this case, one of sentimental value. The presence of a long, or odd, or long and odd Furby will not dissolve Claire’s absence. If anything, it will magnify it. I know this, but I want it nonetheless.
I asked Claire’s boyfriend about the significance of long Furby, and he said there was “NO rhyme or reason. They’re just so weird looking that they were entrancing. Like who does that?! Sews a furby [sic] into a snake?” Indeed, who does that? Everything about Claire was mysterious but transfixing. Like how and why did she discover long furbies? The subculture seems occultish, but leave it to Claire to find and exalt it.
When I first connected with Claire’s boyfriend, Charles—or, I suppose, her ex-boyfriend; he shared with me that they had broken up shortly before her death—I was bent on insinuating myself into his life. I thought about offering to visit him in the city so we could meet at a coffee shop and reminisce about Claire. I wanted him to tell me how happy Claire was and what their relationship was like. I know she loved him dearly because one of her last Instagram posts mentioned her finding the love of her life. Claire never spoke in such ways. I wanted to meet the man who comforted and nourished Claire’s delicate heart. I wanted to hold his hand in mine and feel what Claire felt. I’ve also wanted to ask him why they broke up, how it could be possible for two people who loved each other so much to go their separate ways. But I also didn’t want it to seem like I was digging for the cause of their breakup as a means to unearth a motive for Claire’s death—I was fully aware that even asking a question like this could imply that he had something to do with Claire’s death. And as much as I wanted to know every detail about Claire’s life in her months and weeks and days, that question would have been unfair to him. Besides, it was none of my business. I wish I could say I was above speculating why and how Claire died, but I’m not. I want to know exactly everything she was thinking and doing in the days and hours and seconds before she died.
Table of Contents
- I’ve been trying to think ...
- In the fall of 2016 ...
- I often wondered ...
- In the months before ...
- “PlushieCouture” on Etsy ...
- I often wondered ...
- It wasn’t until the end ...
- When I thought about ...
- I sent Claire a few ...
- I had a dream about ..
- Years after my sexual ...
- In the same conversation ...